I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize