She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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