I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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