I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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