Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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