is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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