looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
