i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Enjoy the penises
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
