yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
