hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
