even my farts smell like vagina
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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