We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh god it's open bar.
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