From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
