hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
where am i from again
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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