where am i from again
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
