Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
