Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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