Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize