Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
