I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
