Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize