words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize