i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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