Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
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I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
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You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me