we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday