I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!