You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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