I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
