dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
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And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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