I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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