I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
