you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
