and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize