Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
