Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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