he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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