I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
