Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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