Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize