hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
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A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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