Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
