dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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