i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
