Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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