Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize