It's Friday. Sex?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
