how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
