You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
