just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
