you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
