please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Let's get the cat blown out
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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