I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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