Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
