girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
