I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
