why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
