What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
